Recognizing Toxic Relationships

Everyone at some point has that friend or group of friends that didn’t treat you the best but you stayed with them. You had some good and okay times that showed you that they could be decent human beings. Your thought process leads you to wonder if this is just a rough patch they are going through. You don’t want to give them up and be “that person” who wasn’t with them thick and thin. However, it comes to a point where enough is enough. Although, how can you tell enough is enough? There are red flags that are pretty obvious, and others that aren’t so apparent. Below I listed some way to help identify a toxic friendship/relationship.

 

If you’re sacrificing your happiness. 

If you can find a good reason why you are sacrificing your happiness and forward momentum for a friend then stay. However, if that isn’t the case, you need to leave them behind. No person is worth sacrificing your happiness for if they ask for help one-sidedly; not giving quality help and assistance when you need it most.

If you’re putting all the effort in. 

Like a group project; there should be balance. No one likes when they’re putting in ALL the effort in a friendship and receive nothing back. It’s okay for some days that one side puts in more than the other, that shouldn’t be the status quo. It’s tiresome and frustrating. Who you surround yourself with should want to talk to you, hang out with you, and overall help you become the person you want to be in life.

If you’re being used 

If your friend(s) are calling you to drive them somewhere and do something for them all the time, you’re being used. Especially if that’s the ONLY time they call you. You are a beautiful being with some kickass talents that doesn’t deserve to feel like the only thing you’re good at is for someone else’s personal servant. There are plenty of folks who will wholeheartedly appreciate who you are without using you for selfish gain.

They’re asking too much from you

A friendship shouldn’t make you feel exhausted (unless you two are workout friends). No matter the kind, every relationship should have boundaries. You shouldn’t be at their beck and call. And if you are because you feel bad, then that’s not a healthy friendship. Your planner shouldn’t be filled with things you have to do for them.

They’re not appreciating you

No matter who you are, everyone likes feeling appreciated. It makes you feel warm and loved when someone says “I appreciate everything you do.” However, it doesn’t have to be that touchy-feely either if you’re not that kind of person. A simple “thank-you” goes a long way and help makes your bond stronger. If your friend is taking you for granted, you need to make that boundary or leave.

 

Leaving someone behind is hard. It’s even harder if you’ve been friends for a while or if you were close at some point. Although, people change all the time. Sometimes that change is for the best and others –not so much. The number one person in your life should be you. You can’t build an empire if the foundation is weak.  It took me a long time of hurt and confusion to understand this. I thought some people were my best friends and they turned out to really be harmful and brash.

Essential Oils: First Step into the Journey

DISCLAIMER: I do strongly suggest you research before using essential oils. There is a lot of information to help you know what you need to know about essential oils and where to start. I am no means an expert. What I will be writing about is my journey with using essential oils. Any advice will be appreciated. 

For the past week, I decided to jump on the essential oil train to see what the hype is about and I was not disappointed. Although, I do want to say this before diving deeper in my experience is that everyone is different. Some people may be sensitive or allergic to certain oils. In addition, people do connect with oils differently. I find that mixing oils a personal creative outlet. Have fun with it! Each essential oil has a few distinct benefits to it which depends on how or why you use them. For example, lemon helps with concentration but you could also use it to make homemade cleaners. Thus saying that, essential oils are known to help fight cold and flu symptoms, alleviate pain, improve digestion, clean your home, can be used to make personal care products, or help improve your mental or emotional state. In this particular post I will mostly be talking about my first weeks experience using them with the diffuser or applying them directly to the skin (also known as “topically’).

So let’s begin. One of my closest friends was describing to me the benefits she experienced with using essential oils. That started my interest in trying the whole thing out. Also, I grew tired of buying candles. For those who don’t know me personally, I absolutely love candles. I felt that the aroma makes a home more comfortable so I would burn one all day long. That resulted in purchasing a candle almost every week which most of you know, can be pretty pricy.

I ventured out to my local supermarket and Marshalls to gather up the supplies without spending my entire bank account on it all. I found my diffuser for about $29.99, and the essential oils between $4.99-$9.99. These are pretty reasonable for the quality and the amount that was inside the vials of oil. Although, not all essential oils are created equally. Some brands are better than others due to how they achieve the purity of the oil with distillation processes. With starting out, I decided that going the cheaper route would be better.

The first few times I used the diffuser, I didn’t mix any of the oils and kept it to a single oil per diffusion session. I didn’t notice too much of a difference in my mood or the environment other than making my apartment smell alright. Topically was different and helped when putting them at your pressure points such as your wrists or temples. For example, I appreciate the use of lavender when I feel anxious or stressed. In addition, I like rubbing peppermint oil on a sore muscle. The massage warms the skin and relaxes the muscle. (I do admit that I don’t enjoy using them as much topically as I do with the diffuser. Therefore, I don’t use this particular method as often.)

I eventually started to mix after a quick Pinterest search and realized the significant difference in aroma. They typically smell different after a few hours because some oils evaporate quicker than others. It’s all trial and error when mixing them. If one mix doesn’t work out for you, that’s okay. Try something else next time.

FAVORITES FOR THE DIFFUSER

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A personal favorite of mine was mixing Frankincense, Cinnamon, and Clove. The aroma is heavy, warm, and spicy.  The reason why I love it so much is the similar reasons why I bought candles. It gives you the fuzzy and comfortable feelings inside. Perfect for the winter months where outside might be gloomy.

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If you’re looking for a more crisp and fresh scent, I typically enjoy mixing lavender, peppermint, and eucalyptus together. The aroma can be described as soothing, energizing, and cleansing. I especially like using this mixture whenever I’m having a rough day because it helps clear my mind and perks me up.

Below are some essential oils and their benefits.

 

I hope you enjoyed this first post about essential oils. I will be experimenting with the various ways of using essential oils and recording my experience with them. So stay tuned! Have something you want me to try or have any advice on using essential oils? Please comment below!