Everyone at some point has that friend or group of friends that didn’t treat you the best but you stayed with them. You had some good and okay times that showed you that they could be decent human beings. Your thought process leads you to wonder if this is just a rough patch they are going through. You don’t want to give them up and be “that person” who wasn’t with them thick and thin. However, it comes to a point where enough is enough. Although, how can you tell enough is enough? There are red flags that are pretty obvious, and others that aren’t so apparent. Below I listed some way to help identify a toxic friendship/relationship.
If you’re sacrificing your happiness.
If you can find a good reason why you are sacrificing your happiness and forward momentum for a friend then stay. However, if that isn’t the case, you need to leave them behind. No person is worth sacrificing your happiness for if they ask for help one-sidedly; not giving quality help and assistance when you need it most.
If you’re putting all the effort in.
Like a group project; there should be balance. No one likes when they’re putting in ALL the effort in a friendship and receive nothing back. It’s okay for some days that one side puts in more than the other, that shouldn’t be the status quo. It’s tiresome and frustrating. Who you surround yourself with should want to talk to you, hang out with you, and overall help you become the person you want to be in life.
If you’re being used
If your friend(s) are calling you to drive them somewhere and do something for them all the time, you’re being used. Especially if that’s the ONLY time they call you. You are a beautiful being with some kickass talents that doesn’t deserve to feel like the only thing you’re good at is for someone else’s personal servant. There are plenty of folks who will wholeheartedly appreciate who you are without using you for selfish gain.
They’re asking too much from you
A friendship shouldn’t make you feel exhausted (unless you two are workout friends). No matter the kind, every relationship should have boundaries. You shouldn’t be at their beck and call. And if you are because you feel bad, then that’s not a healthy friendship. Your planner shouldn’t be filled with things you have to do for them.
They’re not appreciating you
No matter who you are, everyone likes feeling appreciated. It makes you feel warm and loved when someone says “I appreciate everything you do.” However, it doesn’t have to be that touchy-feely either if you’re not that kind of person. A simple “thank-you” goes a long way and help makes your bond stronger. If your friend is taking you for granted, you need to make that boundary or leave.
Leaving someone behind is hard. It’s even harder if you’ve been friends for a while or if you were close at some point. Although, people change all the time. Sometimes that change is for the best and others –not so much. The number one person in your life should be you. You can’t build an empire if the foundation is weak. It took me a long time of hurt and confusion to understand this. I thought some people were my best friends and they turned out to really be harmful and brash.